Apply mindfulness to everyday situations & to life’s most challenging circumstances.
Discover ways to use mindfulness practices & tools to manage work, life & relationships with greater attention & awareness.
How to nurture self-compassion
In a busy, and competitive world, it can be especially challenging to be kind to yourself. Try these simple strategies to stay mindful of and connected to your own well of compassion.
The heart of mindfulness practice is non-judgement. But letting go of your inner critic is not always easy.
How often have you felt that somewhere, somehow you are perilously flawed? That no matter how much you work on yourself, you never work hard enough?
If you’re anything like me, you’ve spent a lifetime trying to improve yourself. But at the root of much of that fuss lies self-judgement.
As I write this, the world is six months into a pandemic. But another kind of epidemic has plagued us for a much longer. It’s a belief of our personal deficiency.
RAIN stands for:
|recognize|
| allow |
|investigate|
|nurture|
Tara Brach calls this state of mind a trance. To wake up from that trance of self-deficiency, apply a basic mindfulness strategy—RAIN.
RAIN stands for: recognize, allow, investigate and nurture.
When your mind heats up with self-criticism, counteract it with the RAIN of self-compassion. Trust that you are loving. Trust that you are loved. Trust that you, despite the flaws (which btw, make you interesting), are fine just the way you are.
R
recognize
what is going on.
Notice the thoughts. The feelings. The behaviours. Do you feel shame or fear? Weight in the physical body? A low mood? Overcoming those feelings begins by mindfully recognizing they are there.
A
allow
the experience to be there, just as it is.
Do something radical. Don’t do anything. Let the feelings and thoughts be there. Avoid trying to override any sense of shame, fear, or unworthiness by buying something or eating something or practicing an affirmation—not yet. When you allow the feelings and thoughts to be there, it doesn’t mean you have to believe them. It’s just saying: “It’s okay to have these thoughts and feelings.”
I
investigate
with curiosity and kindness.
Continue to develop your awareness by getting curious. Rather than feed your thoughts and feelings a narrative, direct your attention to the present moment. Ask questions: What does my intuition ask me to give attention to in this moment? What does this vulnerable place ask of me?
Practice non-judgement. Treat your feelings and thoughts just as you would those of a best friend or child who is seeking your help.
N
nurture
nurture with self-compassion.
When you pause and notice your own suffering, it gives way to your natural, spontaneous sense of care. Listen to your intuition. What does your intuition, your wise inner voice, have to say about your pain?
Then, continue to rest in the awareness of that space of compassion, which is always available to you.
Interested in a guide to help you practice self-compassion?
Dr. Nancy Ellen Miller, the director of InsightEd, offers one-on-one and group Zoom sessions in NeuroCoaching, a unique form of brain-based coaching that employs mindfulness tools grounded in contemporary neuroscience. .
hello@insighted.ca
+1(647) 562-7907

How to stay relaxed & productive throughout the workday.
Simple & effective mindfulness strategies, based in brain science, can help you get things done efficiently & effectively—without the worry and stress.
It’s easy to equate getting-things-done with non-stop-work. If you keep your nose to the grindstone, it may even feel virtuous. Or bionic, like you’re part high-tech machine that can handle anything for any length of time.
But when it comes to creatively solving problems, the brain needs to slow down. It needs to open up space for its networks to make connections. It needs time to discover the relationship among ideas, time to integrate observations, and time to turn insights into actions.
It’s a “no-brainer” that when you’re constantly busy, cluttered and anxious, it’s tough to focus. And even if you wanted to stay “laser-focused” from dawn ‘til dusk, your brain won’t let you. The average human brain only healthily maintain a high degree of concentration for forty-minutes or so. Some say it’s significantly less than that. Drive it in fifth gear much longer, and the engine runs out of fuel.
There’s a reason that everything in nature runs on a cycle of rest. Even machines function best when, once-in-a-while, you turn them off. Your laptop overheats if it never goes to sleep. When you keep all your apps on your iPhone active, the device slows down, then shuts down.
To prevent your own spontaneous shut-down, malfunction or burn-out—give your brain a break. There’s no harm in working dawn ‘til dusk. If you’re absorbed in an important project or pressed to meet a deadline, there’s often no choice but to pull an all-nighter. But work intelligently, safely, and mindfully.
Take regular breaks. Enable your brain to switch between its executive (thinking) network and its default—or daydreaming—network. A five-minute period spent slowly stretching, yawning, and or gazing out the window energizes your brain and refreshes your outlook on a project or task. It’s like pressing the reset button on your inner hardware.
To get more done—and increase your ability to stay resilient, focused and relaxed—incorporate regular patterns of rest for your brain throughout the day. Follow these seven steps to make the most of your workday—without putting yourself at risk of spontaneous combustion.
Write a list of pleasurable, relaxing activities that you can do in less than 5 minutes. Short bursts of writing, dancing or savouring delicious scents are all possibilities. Or maybe you find pleasure in shoulder massages, sun salutation and slow stretches?
Download an app like Insight Timer —one that allows you to program the sound of bell to go off at regular intervals.
Discover what works for you— whether it’s every 30, 40 or 50 minutes —and program the app to ring periodically throughout the day.
Whenever the bell goes off, use it as reminder to stay awake, attentive and aware. Stop whatever you’re doing and take three, deep mindful yawns.
Then, choose something from your list of pleasurable activities. Take five minutes to give yourself a neck massage, sip water tinged with lime, or do a little dance. Whatever thing you choose to do, do it mindfully—with your attention absorbed in the pleasure of moving, sipping or massaging. You can also simply sit and breathe. But breathe mindfully. Stay awake to the even and steady flow of air as you inhale and exhale.
Before you get back down to work, notice if experiencing a short burst of pleasure and relaxation has improved your mood, your attention and your perspective.
Repeat every hour or so. Notice over time how the pace, pleasure and productivity of your day changes for the better.